I have not died, yet. I will never be as good as I think. I am ti red, sick of it.
The endless loop of nothing gained. Is the world real or am I just seeing it through funny lenses? My eyes can see but nothing looks like life.
Plagued by insecurity, that's the issue plain and simple. Give up? Not yet.
I have nothing to say that anyone cares to hear. I'm done with this, I'm done with it all.
I'm not who I wanted to be.
I'm so frustrated I can't think straight and I don't even know why.
Relapsing into old habits is never good. I've moved beyond those feelings. Opening up is so hard. It's difficult. It hurts. One day, its going to happen. I'm just worried it may be at the wrong time.
Now, it's not the time.
At least I have happiness. I'm so lucky to have her! She's amazing but she'd never admit it. But she knows it.
Why is it so hard to show someone how you feel? Maybe it's easy for some people. I am good at expressing anger. More and more these days I'm just angry always, even when I'm happy. Frowning feels good. I don't know how to be human anymore. It's just not natural.
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