7.28.2009
Regret
I have lived my entire life without regret. Until now. What a shitty feeling.
I haven't felt reality this heavy since I came back here.
This place is crawling with it though, regret. I see it in everyone's eyes. It's oozing from their skin, they sweat it and it runs. I smell it on them, sweet and remorseful. Its a feeling so thick that I taste it in the air. The regret in this place is conditioning me to a life of it.
I want to feel comfortable again. I want this pain to stop. I feel it with every movement I make. Although, the mental effects are much more potent. I wish that this was all over, I want to run away from it.
Problems will not escape me now. I have to fight through this. Again. I just don't know when it becomes too much.
My mind is falling apart, the foundations are crumbling. Things are not easy here.