I wish I were enough for her. She needs much more than I can provide. I could die for her and that still wouldn't be enough. There's no pleasing her really, she's more messed up than me. How do you love someone who only wants to make you feel as much pain as possible? Why do I constantly do this to myself? This person doesn't love me anymore more than any of the rest of them. She just doesn't want to be alone. I don't want to be some desparate girls salvation...I'd rather be appreciated for the piece of shit I am.

I don't deserve anything but pain. I don't expect anything but suffering. She's going to break my heart. Let's see how the bitch does it this time. The bitch and the bastard...sounds romantic huh? Except...she doesn't really care and that's all I do. Such is the life of a bastard.