I was first to look in the beast's mouth. He had eight rows of shiny white needle-htin teeth. It was then that I remembered. We were there with one purpose in mind. To tame the evil demon that lived in this beast's soul.
-Marsucipliedes, "Three Strangonor the Third," Chapter 1300; Section 430a; addenum ii3a.
On the third day we feasted, from strange corn-wobbles to trickle-horn feces. We knew all we needed was energy to stay alive. We drank and then slept. Drank and then slept. Drank and then slept. After the fifth day I was no longer able to maintain a moment of sobriety. When we went to war, I was drunk. When we marched, I was drunk and when I slept, I was drunk. As time past and my teeth became purple and rotten from the grapes in the wine I consumed I finally realized I had a problem. But by this time it was too late, so I let the alcohol take control of my body and it slew me on the third Wednesday on March of the year 2007.
-Greenaskapeil, Mary E. "Rotten eggs and Gun Powder, Sunnysideup." Boston, MA. 2007.
False idols will cure your ails.
-Hecktorian the Eigth.
I think I may see a passerby in the young lady, although I know my mother would disagree. (Short chuckles.) I mean seriously, where else doth the wind shine brightly down on a maiden as fair as thee? Does it eat in the soul-pit of Tartagiunea? Do they pull the heart-strings of Lilulac's wedding harp? Or dost thou perish in the ennules of the bounty owed by Marisquista Villasqueira?
Either way I feel that thy life has been just.
-Raspurita, De La Guerda. Miami FL. 1823.
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