I am dying. Each day that goes by brings me closer to it.
How many days do I have left? What should I do with the short time I have left? I'm squandering it now. I can't even do the things I want, because the things I want are out of reach.
I am dying and nothing can stop it. I hope it comes soon. The pain of living is becoming quite unbearable. Just knowing that I have to wake up tomorrow and be alone for the rest of my life all over again makes me desperate.
I am so tired of feeling meaningless and ugly. I'm not good enough for myself and it's starting to scare me. Most people don't know what it's like to be so disconnected from reality. I do. It's how I exist.
Why am I here? The emotional scarring is only enough to cover up. It's today when things start to push themselves out. The issues start becoming the obsession which becomes a single question to drive me insane.
I'm hearing them again, it's been so long. I sincerely wish I was dead and I don't know where to go from there. This wasted life is making me feel pointless and unimportant.
The end is built into the beginning.
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